Breastfeeding versus getting PPD

Let's just say the possibility of getting PPD and trying to avoid it won. Lol.. Kalea is slowly becoming a formula baby and in the last couple days has not been a happier baby. Let's not forget mommy is a happier person too.

The last couple weeks I've been really struggling to continue breastfeeding and I felt like crap for wanting to just quit when I had such a perfect supply for her. Thanks to my supportive husband I decided to slowly wean her off. Since I haven't needed to be attached to her I've noticed how much better my mood is. I still have my moments but I am no longer sad that I decided to have another kid and start over when I had some nice freedom with just Nani. Which not being sad over your new baby is always better. :)

I did my best and I gave her 6 weeks which is better then nothing and more then Nani ever got and she turned out fine.

I honestly don't know how some moms do it. I love my kids and I want the best for them but I don't have the mentality to just focus on one thing and potentially let everything else go. I now understand why it took my sister 12+ hours every Sunday to clean her house. Lol.

At the end of the day.. Like my girl friend has been telling me.. Its not worth your sanity. I am glad I finally decided to listen to myself and those supportive individuals around me.

Good Night Everyone!

Thanks for walking through this with me. :)

Going Nuts!!!!!

Haha my first blog post and its about how I'm loosing my mind. PERFECT!!

Well let's just jump right in shall we. I am a wife and mother. I have two girls that are 3 and 6 weeks. And I am completely overwhelmed!!!!!!

Between the baby who needs to eat every two hours and only be held by mommy to the toddler who does her own thing and thinks she's the boss to the husband, lets not forget him, who needs "attention" too. There's not only no time for me but I don't have energy or desire to deal with those three things everyday let alone add myself. I know myself should be first priority but heck you have kids and tell me how that works out.

If you haven't noticed by now I'm a bit emotional.. Lol.. And tonight started because my husband changed our shower head and now there's no pressure. So the one thing that was quick and gave me a little me time is now barely possible.

I'm just ready for a schedule. I am way to organized to be working off on demand. I mean I love that breastfeeding is going so well at the same time I'm barely holding on emotionally and mentally. However if I stop breastfeeding I feel like a horrible mom for not being able to nurture my child. Ugh I'm all over the place. And it only takes rocking her to sleep and watching her sleep to flip my emotions to that of someone who is blessed and so in love with her life. Oh yea and lets not forget a big cry baby.

I 150% admit that I completely and utterly forgot how it was with Nani.. Lol.. and this experience has just further proven that I am no longer bearing anymore children. I have two beautiful girls and I am completely satisfied with that.

That is all for this post. Thanks for taking this time to be with me through this emotional evening.